How to cure seasickness, the awesome way

Seasickness sucks. It’s one of the most debilitating, inescapable and horrible feelings, and on top of that it’s humiliating and enraging because it’s so stupid! It’s just a tiny bit of up and down movement. You don’t get sick on a seesaw and that’s doing pretty much exactly the same thing!

There must be a cure out there that actually works, so I’ve done some digging into the past, to see if perhaps some ancient pearl of wisdom has been missed. As it turns out, I don’t think it has, but most of these remedies sound way more fun than wristbands and Dramamine.

‘At the first symptom that the boat is going to roll, drink some saline effervescing drink, or a pint of champagne. Do not drink any alcohol, except champagne.’

Basil Woon, The Frantic Atlantic, 1927

‘The yolks of two raw eggs with an equal bulk of good brandy well beaten together. A teaspoonful every ten minutes.’

Partsch, Seasickness: Practical Precepts for Ocean Travellers, 1890

‘Take a fish that has been found in the stomach of another fish, cook it, season it with pepper, and eat it as you go on board.’

Quoted by Dr G H Niewenglowski in Scientific American Supplement, 1909

‘The sea will not cause nausea in anyone who has drunk a mixture of wine beforehand.’

Medical Monks of Salerno, Regimen Sanitas Salernitanum, 12th Century AD

‘If any palliative be given, it should be large doses of ammonia with opium.’

Stevens, The Lancet, 1838

‘Recumbent position, eyes closed, and a pint of beer, ale, or porter taken in six or eight doses at ten-minute intervals.’

– Partsch, Seasickness: Practical Precepts for Ocean Travellers, 1890

‘Some persons recommend a tight-fitting undergarment of strong silk, but in order to be of use, it must be altogethertoo close for comfort, and the wearer is quite likely to say that he considers it the greater of the evils.’

– T.W. Knox, How to Travel, 1887

If all these fail, perhaps you could live your life by this ancient Chinese proverb – ‘If you can get there by land, do not go by water.’